Carla Jean Moss (
refusedtocall) wrote2013-10-31 09:29 pm
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sooner or later, God'll cut you down
She knows he's there when he sets foot through the doorway. He isn't in her line of sight yet, he doesn't make a sound, but she can feel it anyway, the air thick with tension and something more than that, a sense of foreboding stronger than any of the fear she's felt over the past few months. It's been hell, Carla Jean will readily admit to that, never knowing when she'll spot a familiar figure in her peripheral vision or hear the click of a gun's safety in the dark, an echo of that goddamn sinister voice in her head. Up until now, it's all been taunts. She's learned how to deal with it, to balance potential danger with the visions that she knows people have been having. She's learned properly how to shoot a gun, keeps it on her at all times, while having the sense not to draw it just because she's spooked (which is good, because she's that more often than not). All her life, she's been a sensible girl, pragmatic. Just having that turned on its head, no longer knowing if or when she can trust her own senses, would be enough to drive her crazy, but these circumstances make it that much worse. This son of a bitch took everything from her once before, including her own life. Even if he's just been biding his time, she's had no intention of letting him do the same again.
If only she had a head for these things like Llewelyn did, she thinks now, standing just inside the door frame, taking a moment to try to catch her breath. Her husband, God rest his soul, might have been dumb enough to get himself into all that trouble in the first place, but he would have had more of a sense for what to expect from this, how best to handle herself. She could go in shooting, but she's not sure that would do any good. If he is here, if her gut is right about this, then waiting to kill her on sight wouldn't be his style. The sick bastard would never leave it that simple.
Besides, though she has no way of knowing what he might have seen here, the last time they encountered each other, she was a mess, newly widowed, having just buried her grandmother, still wearing the dress from the funeral, shaken and emotional and barely able to make sense of what had happened at all. She knows more now. Though she's had just as much to worry about, this time, it's hardened her, left her sure of what she has to do and how. It means she'll have the element of surprise on her side. The girl he saw in her childhood bedroom that day wouldn't have been carrying a loaded pistol, and wouldn't have used it, either. Now, she won't have to hesitate.
When she pushes open the bedroom door and walks inside, he's sitting there, just like she predicted, just like before. The sight of him, half-hidden in shadow, still makes her breath catch in her chest, but she keeps her expression even, not reaching for the gun that's obscured by her sweater, though she's distinctly aware of its presence now, mentally going over everything Sean taught her about it. He's armed, too, a shotgun pointed at her just like before, but she keeps her gaze on his face rather than the barrel. If he hasn't pulled the trigger yet, he won't without warning, and she'll have him gone before then.
"Hello, Mrs. Moss," he says, voice quiet.
"Hello, Mr. Chigurh," she returns. There's little inflection in her voice, but he smiles, the look of it chilling. In spite of that, she finds it almost satisfying. Terrified or not, she has the upper hand here, and even the simplest way she can surprise him goes a long damn way.
"You've learned a few things since I saw you last."
She shrugs. "Dyin'll do that to a girl."
"Yes," he agrees, though it's not something he's had any experience with. All this time, he's seemed immortal, left a trail of bodies in his wake that she's sure is even longer than she knows about. All of that, and now he's about to die at the hands of a nineteen year old girl. "You know why I'm here, don't you?"
"To finish what you started, I reckon," she replies. Sure of herself as she might be, there's a flicker of fear in her wide eyes at that. Standing in a room with someone who wishes her dead isn't exactly comforting.
"Yes," he says again. If she didn't know better, she'd think he sounded almost sorry. "You understand."
"I do," she confirms. Now, she thinks. She doesn't want to put it off any longer. She doesn't want to take any chances, either. "I understand that you're the reason my husband died, and a whole lot of others besides. I understand that it's not about the money anymore, since I never had that in the first place. I understand that, somehow, you think you're right in doin' all this."
Chigurh blinks once, twice, clearly confused, but with a trace of amusement alongside it. He's humoring her, she thinks, letting her say her piece, because he thinks he knows how this is going to end: like it did before, with her dead on her bedroom floor. He doesn't have a clue what's coming for him.
"You know, I thought about havin' a coin on hand when you finally found me," she continues, exhaling what might be a laugh under any other circumstances. "Tryin' to get you to call it, see how you like it. But then I realized that, no matter how it went, I was gonna do the same thing."
Quickly, she pulls the gun out of the waist of her jeans, leveling it at him, then adds without a pause, not giving him time to react, "This is for Llewelyn."
The first shot hits him square in the chest. He groans with it, letting go of his shotgun to press his palm over the wound, and stares up at her in clear confusion. She doesn't smile. She just fires again — the next shot goes through the hand in question — and then again and again, with increasingly less precision, until the trigger clicks, the gun's chamber empty, and Chigurh's body slumps to the floor.
Or, at least, to what should be the floor. It isn't wood under her feet when she looks down, though, but sand, a cool breeze off the ocean blowing through her hair, and she doesn't know what in God's name happened to the hut, but she feels crazier now than she ever did catching glimpses of Chigurh in the shadows. He was clearly real after all. This seems far more improbable, only the hot metal of the gun she's still holding coming as any kind of a relief. The stretch of beach doesn't even look familiar, she thinks, though at least it's quiet, no one reacting to the body in front of her. Hands dropping to her sides, she draws in a deep breath. Where she is and whatever's happened, they can wait. She needs a minute to take in what's happened, to deal with the sight in front of her. It's not until she blinks that she realizes there are tears in her eyes, and she's still not sure what they're from — the belated panic that her chest is tight with, the grief she's never shaken, or just pure relief.
If only she had a head for these things like Llewelyn did, she thinks now, standing just inside the door frame, taking a moment to try to catch her breath. Her husband, God rest his soul, might have been dumb enough to get himself into all that trouble in the first place, but he would have had more of a sense for what to expect from this, how best to handle herself. She could go in shooting, but she's not sure that would do any good. If he is here, if her gut is right about this, then waiting to kill her on sight wouldn't be his style. The sick bastard would never leave it that simple.
Besides, though she has no way of knowing what he might have seen here, the last time they encountered each other, she was a mess, newly widowed, having just buried her grandmother, still wearing the dress from the funeral, shaken and emotional and barely able to make sense of what had happened at all. She knows more now. Though she's had just as much to worry about, this time, it's hardened her, left her sure of what she has to do and how. It means she'll have the element of surprise on her side. The girl he saw in her childhood bedroom that day wouldn't have been carrying a loaded pistol, and wouldn't have used it, either. Now, she won't have to hesitate.
When she pushes open the bedroom door and walks inside, he's sitting there, just like she predicted, just like before. The sight of him, half-hidden in shadow, still makes her breath catch in her chest, but she keeps her expression even, not reaching for the gun that's obscured by her sweater, though she's distinctly aware of its presence now, mentally going over everything Sean taught her about it. He's armed, too, a shotgun pointed at her just like before, but she keeps her gaze on his face rather than the barrel. If he hasn't pulled the trigger yet, he won't without warning, and she'll have him gone before then.
"Hello, Mrs. Moss," he says, voice quiet.
"Hello, Mr. Chigurh," she returns. There's little inflection in her voice, but he smiles, the look of it chilling. In spite of that, she finds it almost satisfying. Terrified or not, she has the upper hand here, and even the simplest way she can surprise him goes a long damn way.
"You've learned a few things since I saw you last."
She shrugs. "Dyin'll do that to a girl."
"Yes," he agrees, though it's not something he's had any experience with. All this time, he's seemed immortal, left a trail of bodies in his wake that she's sure is even longer than she knows about. All of that, and now he's about to die at the hands of a nineteen year old girl. "You know why I'm here, don't you?"
"To finish what you started, I reckon," she replies. Sure of herself as she might be, there's a flicker of fear in her wide eyes at that. Standing in a room with someone who wishes her dead isn't exactly comforting.
"Yes," he says again. If she didn't know better, she'd think he sounded almost sorry. "You understand."
"I do," she confirms. Now, she thinks. She doesn't want to put it off any longer. She doesn't want to take any chances, either. "I understand that you're the reason my husband died, and a whole lot of others besides. I understand that it's not about the money anymore, since I never had that in the first place. I understand that, somehow, you think you're right in doin' all this."
Chigurh blinks once, twice, clearly confused, but with a trace of amusement alongside it. He's humoring her, she thinks, letting her say her piece, because he thinks he knows how this is going to end: like it did before, with her dead on her bedroom floor. He doesn't have a clue what's coming for him.
"You know, I thought about havin' a coin on hand when you finally found me," she continues, exhaling what might be a laugh under any other circumstances. "Tryin' to get you to call it, see how you like it. But then I realized that, no matter how it went, I was gonna do the same thing."
Quickly, she pulls the gun out of the waist of her jeans, leveling it at him, then adds without a pause, not giving him time to react, "This is for Llewelyn."
The first shot hits him square in the chest. He groans with it, letting go of his shotgun to press his palm over the wound, and stares up at her in clear confusion. She doesn't smile. She just fires again — the next shot goes through the hand in question — and then again and again, with increasingly less precision, until the trigger clicks, the gun's chamber empty, and Chigurh's body slumps to the floor.
Or, at least, to what should be the floor. It isn't wood under her feet when she looks down, though, but sand, a cool breeze off the ocean blowing through her hair, and she doesn't know what in God's name happened to the hut, but she feels crazier now than she ever did catching glimpses of Chigurh in the shadows. He was clearly real after all. This seems far more improbable, only the hot metal of the gun she's still holding coming as any kind of a relief. The stretch of beach doesn't even look familiar, she thinks, though at least it's quiet, no one reacting to the body in front of her. Hands dropping to her sides, she draws in a deep breath. Where she is and whatever's happened, they can wait. She needs a minute to take in what's happened, to deal with the sight in front of her. It's not until she blinks that she realizes there are tears in her eyes, and she's still not sure what they're from — the belated panic that her chest is tight with, the grief she's never shaken, or just pure relief.
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Kate's been spending a lot of time at the beach with Jeff, letting the dog run free when there aren't very many people wandering around. She lost her job, which isn't a surprise, there were the two days she spent unable to move, unable to speak, and although she's okay now, it's still not a memory she loves having. There's been a lot of really bad shit that's gone on, but she can't deny there have been bright spots throughout. Newt, for one. Chris and Jesse, the things they've done for her, the way they both tried so hard to help. And now, standing just behind Carla Jean, she's found another.
She doesn't even register the body at first, but when she does, it's doesn't completely surprise her. She remembers when it was happening, when people were seeing things, when Carla Jean seemed on edge more often than not. She remembers the day in the cemetery, Carla Jean with her gun, pointing it at no one, and Kate realizes it's not no one, not anymore. And with everything else that's happened, she doesn't feel like the body is that shocking. Just another part of a very rough week.
And the thing is, if she's killed him, Kate believes she has a damn good reason to have done it.
"Carla Jean?" she asks as Jeff trots forward, sniffing the sand. She needs to be sure. Harley remembers her, but Reggie doesn't, and even though there's this horrible scene right here on the beach, even though she knows Carla Jean probably needs help, she just needs to be sure.
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Tense as it's left her, all of this having barely begun to sink in yet, she relaxes some when she realizes that the person calling her name is one she knows, a friend. "Kate," she says, exhaling the breath she'd drawn in heavily. The dog with her is one Carla Jean doesn't recognize, but that doesn't matter much. It's that she knows the girl that counts, especially when she can't be entirely sure of where she is. She swallows hard, brushing her free hand under her eyes, though it's a precautionary measure more than anything else. "Jesus."
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"Hi," she says, pulling back a little. Her gaze drifts to the body briefly and she realizes they're probably going to have to do something about it. Maybe they can just leave him on the beach as long as there's nothing to tie him to Carla Jean or maybe the police here will believe it's self-defense. Her mind is already racing, trying to decide who to call and she thinks Forrest might be able to help them better than anyone else she knows and she's pretty sure he won't ask too many questions. "Sorry."
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"Hey," she says, breath still not quite steady. At least this means she might have some answers, too, as to how she wound up on this beach. She won't have to deal with explaining this to a stranger, either, though she has nothing to hide. This is just easier. "Turns out I wasn't crazy after all."
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And yet she's so happy to see Carla Jean that she doesn't think a single one of those changes will matter.
"Should we do something about him?" she asks, her hand still on Carla Jean's arm. It's like she thinks letting go of her means she'll disappear again and that's not something Kate's about to let happen.
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"Should we just leave him here?" she asks. Whoever he is, she doesn't give a shit about him. She knows at least some of what he's done to Carla Jean and her husband and she knows he wanted to kill Carla Jean. That's all she needs to know. As far as she's concerned, the crabs can pick his eyes out and she won't give a damn.
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"Might be easier to," she says slowly, keeping Kate's hand in her own as she shrugs, a slow breath leaving her. "We try to move him, it's just gonna draw more attention."
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"We should walk away," she suggests, taking a step away, tugging gently at Carla Jean's hand. There's no one really around to see them and this way, she'll be able to explain a little better, wrap her head around what's happened. "We can go to my place, I can try to make sense of all this for you. I mean, as much as it'll ever make sense. It's kind of like the island in that way, a lot of stuff just doesn't, you know, and you have to let it slide or you'll go nuts trying to figure it all out."
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Actually looking away from Chigurh is surprisingly difficult, but she makes herself do it anyway. It might help her peace of mind, but just hanging around the body is only going to be an invitation for trouble, and she's had more than enough of that to last her a goddamn lifetime. "Alright, that sounds good."
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She's lived on her own for almost a year now, but with Carla Jean here in front of her, she suddenly can't imagine going back to being alone.
"I've been here for ten months," she says, looking over at her as they walk. "I guess that's not what you remember though, huh?" Because she remembers that Halloween, she remembers what had happened, and that's already a long time in the past for her.
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"Different in a good way," she says, looking over at Carla Jean. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I have missed you so much, but this place... it's easier than the island. For me, anyway. Some stuff sucks, like Reggie is here, but he's different and older and he doesn't remember the island and it doesn't suck that he's here, of course, he's still pretty much one of my favourite people ever, but it sucked at first. Wanting him to remember, knowing he didn't. Harley's here, too, he remembers everything at least, which is good and wow, sorry, this is a lot of information all at once."
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"I didn't tell him," she admits. "About the island. He had so much other shit going on when he got here, it seemed kind of selfish to want to tell him about it. I'm wondering if maybe I should have by now, but it seems like it's way too late for that." She's left it for too long, if she tells him now, he's just going to want to know why she didn't bring it up earlier.
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"Anyway, it's not super important right now," she says, climbing the stairs and pulling open the door of the station. "There's the information booth. It'll have a package for you and I'm sorry in advance for how fucking creepy it is, but I also hope you're in my building."
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Eyeing the train station almost suspiciously as they walk up to it, she nevertheless doesn't hesitate to step inside when Kate opens the door. When this seems to be a commonplace sort of occurrence, there's no reason not to. "Fuckin' creepy sounds about right, anyway," she says. "So they'll just know it's mine?"
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"Here," Kate says, turning back to Carla Jean with the envelope. "I worked here for a little while, I spent a bunch of time trying to figure out where the envelopes were. I even broke into the security office with a guy I know to see if we could find some security tapes with something on it, but we didn't come up with anything."
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"This is even weirder than showin' up on that island was," she says, taking the envelope from Kate and opening it, beginning to look at its contents. "So what am I doin' with all this?"
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"It's to make the transition easier, I guess," she says. "There's a bank card and some money and there's a phone. And that card will tell you which apartment you're in." She can see Dimera written on the card and when she looks closer, she has to laugh, because this place has already figured out what Kate is sure would have taken her at least a little while longer to suggest. "That's the apartment I'm in already."
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"And it didn't even ask you first," she says, shaking her head. "Hope that means you're up for havin' a roommate again."
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"I'd be sad if you decided to live somewhere else. Oh, but there's a guy," she adds suddenly, realizing she'd told Newt only the day before that it's okay for him to come into her place without knocking. "I mean, not a guy who lives there, but a guy I'm dating, he might show up unannounced and just walk in, because I told him it was okay to do that. Just so, y'know, he doesn't scare the shit out of you."
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"His name is Newt. He's, uh... we just started dating. We've been on like, four dates now," she says, which doesn't seem like it's enough for him to just be walking into her apartment, but it is. It's enough. "He's a goddamn genius, he's so smart and he's so much fun and he's..." She really doesn't want to bring up the casket now, but he was so good during that. "He's a really, really good guy."
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"I guess you've figured out the whole time thing is, uh... a little different," she says as they head toward the apartment building. "I mean, it's been ten months since I got here, like I said. A whole year since everyone was seeing stuff on the island." She knows it's probably easier for Carla Jean to accept than it might be for someone who'd never been on the island, but it still can't be the sort of thing that a person just adjusts to without a little time.
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"How about the short version now? I have another dog, her name is Jeff. And um... well, Harley stopped talking to me for awhile," she admits. "But that was sort of my fault, since I might have maybe kissed him." She deserves to catch hell for that from someone other than Harley, but no one else even knows.
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She's still not entirely sure why he freaked out since she's been too afraid to ask. "I guess he freaked out because we're friends? Like, it was too weird for him, which is fine, I get it. It was super dumb and I shouldn't have done it."
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And she hadn't wanted it to be just anyone or she would've gone and picked up some dude at a bar. She'd wanted someone important and even if she doesn't want to be with Harley, he's important to her.
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"It happens," she says, thoughtful, shoulders lifting in a shrug. "Well, I'm glad there's no drama, anyway."
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She liked living with Carla Jean and Reggie. There are more than a few things she misses about the island, but that's definitely near the top of the list. "I'm glad it put you in with me. There's no Chang and no Reggie, but it'll still be pretty cool. I mean, and there's Newt, so some stuff is different. He's, uh... a little older than me? Apparently that's a thing people expect me to warn them about, so that's my warning."
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"My husband was more'n twice my age when we met and got married," she says, absently twisting the ring on her finger, though there's nothing soft or too sentimental in her tone. It's just a fact, stated plain and simple, not worth getting hung up on. "Unless by older you mean he's on his deathbed, I don't see what difference it makes. Least of all to anyone else."
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"This is us," she says as they reach the building. "We're up on the tenth floor. Jeff'll be up there, she's super sweet, you'll like her. She'll like you." She smiles a little, turning to look at Carla Jean. "Are you ready?"
This is all normal to Kate, this has been home for ten months, but she can understand why it might not be the easiest thing in the world. The first few weeks she'd spent here had been so weird, confused and difficult in a lot of ways.
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Of course, she probably wouldn't have been widowed then murdered at nineteen if she had, but even so, she wouldn't change a thing now.
Tipping her head up to look at the building, she draws in a deep breath, then nods as she looks over at Kate. Quickly as all of this has happened, she can barely wrap her head around any of it, but there's no sense in standing around here waiting for nothing. "Ready as I'll ever be," she says, then cracks a smile. "You know, I've never lived off the ground floor before."
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"I hadn't either until this place," she admits, pulling out her keys to open the front door and she leads Carla Jean into the lobby. "So the mailboxes are right over there. The laundry room is in the basement, there are the stairs and the elevator. There's not really a building superintendent as far as I know, but I've never had a lot of problems..." Now that she's said it, though, she's wondering what happens if some asshole moves in next door and ruins all that.
With an internal shrug, Kate pushes the button for the elevator, then steps inside when it slides open. "We can go out, too, and find you some clothes and stuff. It'll get cold here soon."
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"I don't really know anyone who lives up here," she admits, leading the way to her door -- their door -- with her keys in hand. "But if you need anything and I'm not around, Reggie is in number fourteen on the third floor and I know you don't know Newt, but he'd help you out with anything. He's in number seventeen on the fourth floor."
Then she's opening the door, Jeff bouncing around on the other side until she spots a new face, then freezes, her tail wagging furiously. "And this is Jeff."
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"So... welcome to your new place?" she asks, then laughs. "It's really good to see you."
She knows Carla Jean's arrival is kind of a shitty situation, she knows they haven't really made any mention of the body they left down on the beach, but she's glad to see her all the same.
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